Little Things Can Have Big Outcomes
My wife gave me two incredible gifts for Christmas. One was digitized versions of Hi8 (an old video format before the age of digital media) videotapes we had of the first 5 to 8 years of Evan and Laurens lives. Actually, some of them were before they where even born. WOW what an amazing feeling it was to see them enjoying life, interacting with one another, it was obvious that even as babies they had a very deep connection. LaLa (Lauren) had always referred to Evan as her “A1 from Day 1”, and especially hearing their voices. There are still many videos for me to watch and enjoy, but what I have experienced so far has been awesome.
The other gift was similar to something I have jokingly put on my Christmas List (these days I just send folks that want to know what I would like an Amazon wish list) since Evan has been around 8, it’s an Astro Physics telescope that cost $17,000.00. No, I did not get a $17,000.00 telescope for Christmas, but I did get a beautiful 8 Inch Newtonian Telescope with a German Equilateral GOTO mount (this is a tripod/mount that allows you to select what you want to see, when visible from where you are, and the telescope automatically goes to it). It is amazing!
Since this telescope is for someone who is quite versed at astronomy and telescopes some things are not included with the package. Quite surprising to me was the lack of a power supply for the mount (tripod). I found this really odd, but the reason is that most people that would use this level of telescope would already have a power supply they would normally use for working in the field, so it’s not necessary, well unless you are a newbie like me. If I wanted it to work, I needed to purchase a power supply field battery. In purchasing this I discovered I also needed a small inexpensive cable to go from the power supply to the manufacturer-specific connector on the Equilateral mount. It struck me as ironic that I had this wonderful telescope, with a very sophisticated mount/tripod but none of it worked without a small $12.95 cable. Seemingly inconsequential, but very important.
This made me think of when I was a photographer (mostly weddings). To use the camera with a flash there was a very important cable that cost only $6.95 but without it, you could not use your camera with your flash. For a wedding photographer having that cable fail during a wedding left your fancy equipment useless for a big part of the event, something you do not want to happen at a wedding. Our solution was to carry several of these cables with us because they would break often.
In helping our loved one recover from addiction there is an equally important element that could be overlooked and costs nothing, yet, it can mean everything. That something is what I refer to as family. By family, I mean a deep connection with another human being. Sometimes that may not be a member of our biological family. Addiction simply puts a great strain on the relationships around the addicted person, even when people love them. Sadly there are times when this is not the fault of the addicted individual. It is possible that their biological family members where trapped in their own behaviors that may have been factors to this individual’s addiction.
What is important is that the addicted individual is not left alone in their battle, they need someone to help, even when they act like they don’t.
In an effort to overcome addiction and its devastation on the lives of people we love there are three areas to focus on that we as people that love an addicted person can be a part of.
The first is PREVENTION, the best way to help someone is to help them never be addicted. Lots of schools and agencies are trying to do this now. The most effective place for this to happen is in the home. Connecticut’s Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services is a good start for ideas and resources to help with this. Your state or country may have similar resources.
The second is TREATMENT, if we have a loved one in addiction, we can be a huge part of guiding them to the most effective treatment. Effective treatment is not one size fits all. Below are four blog posts that give an overview of a variety of treatments:
“If Anything Can Work This Might” “Starving for Knowledge”
“Inside the Brain of Your Addicted Loved One” “An Unexpected Solution”
The third is RECOVERY, this is where family/connection is most important because this is helping our loved one to stay drug-free and realize that life can be meaningful and fulfilling without drugs. Some helpful ideas are mentioned in the posts “A Perfect Opportunity” or “An Unexpected Solution”.
I am praying 2020 is a year of progress in your loved one’s recovery.
This weeks featured image is called “Hollowness” by Brooke Shaden. One of the important elements of Brooke’s work and the beauty she creates is astute attention to little things that may be overlooked by others. In helping a loved one facing addiction or mental health we need to do the same.