Shining Stars

One of the most insidious characteristics of addiction is that it hijacks your brain. My daughter, LaLa (Lauren) once made a statement in a Facebook post that said “I chose to do drugs, but I did not choose to be addicted.” Nobody chooses to be addicted. That is what makes it so hard for many to understand, because the problem does start with a choice, but I don’t believe someone, even using drugs for the wrong reasons, is planning to lose the very essence of who they are through addiction. That’s the real tragedy of addiction. Using drugs, and alcohol is very risky because we have no way of knowing who will become addicted and who will not, a SUD (substance use disorder) is too complicated.

I love the image I am using for this week’s post, it is why I called this post “Shining Stars” (the actual name of the image is “Paper Stars” by Brooke Shaden). It reminds me of what God’s design is for all of us, for our lives, who we are, to shine as bright as we possibly can. In the Bible, stars usually represent supernatural beings with capabilities that exceed mere humans, we are not supernatural, but a human being is a pretty amazing creation. We are created and intended to shine and offer the world what we alone uniquely can. Sadly, the brokenness, dysfunction, pain and shear stress of life in our world can stifle all of that, in fact, far too often it does.

When I think of Lauren, I am often reminded of all that could have been. She was very bright, incredibly hard working, and very detail oriented. She loved fashion, baking, snowboarding, and being with her family and friends. I often imagined that she would one day end up owning either a local bake shop or small women’s boutique. One thing Lauren was hoping to do was go to school for Radiology in September of 2017, I thought it would have been a good option for her. I am sorry she never got to pursue it.

One of LaLa’s greatest qualities, perhaps my favorite, was her keen sensitivity to hurting girls around her. At and after her memorial service there were several girls that mentioned when they came to the small school that Lauren attended, they struggled. Like a lot of young people, they felt out of place but Lauren seemed to sense their pain and made it a point to help them feel connected. Even while in residential treatment, an experience that Lauren never liked because of the escalation of her anxiety, while there several girls shared with us how Lauren made everything bearable for them because she welcomed them and accepted them. One even said the only reason she stayed was because Lauren made her feel good. That young lady is doing very well today.

LaLa’s twin brother Evan explained to me what made her special to him. He said that she had a distinct ability to draw out of him his story. She probably did the same for others too. He pointed out that when he would sit with Lauren and talk about whatever was on his mind, she would be fully engaged. Sometimes she knew nothing about what he was talking about and, probably had no particular interest in it, outside of the fact that it mattered to Evan, and so it mattered to her. She would ask questions, actively listen and in short make him feel that he was important in that moment. Isn’t that one of the basic needs of every human being, significance?

There is a verse in a book in the Bible called 2 Corinthians. It is in Chapter 1 and the second verse, it says: “He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”

I think Lauren understood what that verse meant. That realization, combined with the notion that she probably felt insignificant at times, often struggled with fitting in and being accepted somehow became one of the ways she could shine, brightly, in a world that is far too often dark.

That’s what I hate about addiction, it takes everything away. It robs the addicted person of their soul, especially heroin addiction. Lauren once said to a friend a few days before she passed away, “Once I started using heroin, nothing else mattered anymore”. Here is one of our recent blog posts that shows two videos that explain why that happens “Inside the Brain of Your Addicted Loved One”.

Addiction also robs from us, the many people that love someone with an addiction, the chance to see and experience the warmth and light of all that person can be, when they are free to shine brightly into our lives and world. We lose out!

In 2018 over 78,000 bright stars went dark in our country, they died from an overdose. This year, 2019 is on track to exact an even higher toll. For me, and I am sure many of you would agree, it is just too high of a price to pay.

This weeks featured image is called “Paper Stars” by Brooke Shaden