A Moment of Great Pride

Below is a letter that Lauren posted to her Facebook page 18 days before she passed away. I was very proud of her when she did this. I know it was a big step for Lauren, and it was evidence of what had happened in her life on Fathers Day 2016. You can read about that change of heart, mind and soul in Why We Know Lauren is Safe. Lauren was always obsessively worried about who knew about her struggles with anxiety, anorexia, and addiction. Of course, each person is entitled to their privacy, but this went way beyond that. The reality is that very few if any of her friends who were not drug users had any idea about her drug use. The ones who did where also people caught up in addiction. So, for LaLa (Lauren) to reveal her addiction was a huge step forward and I believe, evidence of a change deep within her. One friend who she had been in treatment with said it this way “She was very serious about getting well this time.”

What I was also very proud of her for was that her research was very accurate. She does use some words that are very triggering to many in the controversy over what addiction really is. Sadly, that is one of the biggest difficulties in our world today, not just related to addiction, but about everything we talk about. Many times, we can’t get by the words that trigger us to do the hard work of solving the problem at hand. I am certain I have done it too. We can’t allow that to happen with addiction. It’s just too costly, people are dying. In fact, at last count 213 people die every day from an overdose. That number does not include the many more that die from health complications connected to addiction or alcoholism. In my little town 3 people overdosed this week, 1 died.

One of those hot button words in Laurens response to an article she read is “disease”.

Lauren wrote the post I mention above, in response to a blog post called “Stop Calling Your Addiction a Disease”  at the end of the post is also a very well written response to what is said  called “I’ll Stop Calling Addiction a Disease When It Actually Stops Being One.”  Lauren had a very healthy and informative conversation with the girl who wrote the original post that helped both of them. We also invited her to be a guest on our blog after Lauren passed away, but at the time she felt what was happening in her family’s life was too painful. I understand that, but still hope one day she will share her story on our blog.

We cannot allow ourselves to get caught up in words that polarize us. I think all of us can agree, that addiction is a very complicated disorder, and lots of people we love desperately need our help. Read the post “Inside the Brain of Your Addicted Loved One” for a better understanding of how complicated addiction is.

“This article has helped me understand others views on the topic of addiction. studies have shown that 50-60% of addiction is due to genetics. although everyone has the potential to become addicted, some people are more predisposed to becoming addicted more than those who’s family have no history of addiction. in some studies it shows that children of addicts are 8 times more likely to develop an addiction bc of their genes. that’s not to say that people without the predisposition to addiction are safe from becoming addicted , addiction can happen to anyone no matter their genetics or how they may have been raised. that also doesn’t mean that all people who are predisposed to addiction become addicted. some families with addiction in it skip generations or in my life for example skip siblings as thankfully my twin is not addicted while i am. while doing a drug is a choice , becoming addicted to it (even though there very well could be a desire to quit but not being able to do so) is why it’s called a disease. today one of the highest causes of death in people under the age of 50 is due to opiate overdoses. many people with this disease called addiction , including myself , have said at least once (for me at least i said this hundreds of times) i don’t want to do this anymore’ and may very well be tired of and disgusted of doing the drug but physically and mentally cannot stop. repeating this cycle of saying ‘i’m going to stop using’ and the very next day or even hours later doing that drug. while choosing to do drugs is a choice becoming addicted isn’t , it’s part of how the brain is hard wired. nobody does a drug for the first time and says ‘wow, one day i hope i become a drug addict.’ that’s certainly something i never wanted to happen to me but it did. my name is lala and i’m a heroin addict.

today i am 18 days sober , although i still have a very long journey ahead of me i’m taking it one day at a time. i couldn’t have gotten sober without the help of my amazing family and awesome friends who are basically family. thanks for always being there to support me no matter if it’s 3am or 1pm i know i can always count on them🍍💕”

LaLa was working at developing a solid understanding of what was happening in her. That is important in recovery and a healthy step forward. When I got home, the night she posted about her addiction I sat with her and told her how proud I was and that she had done a really good job of researching her post. That was no easy task for her, the constant struggles with anxiety, the brutal impact of anorexia on her body and brain, and the constant use of heroin made it impossible for LaLa to concentrate on her studies and school work. She really hated that.

One thing I believe that LaLa did come to understand is that with all the evidence of her life, and the research she sited, the best approach to avoid the risk of finding out if you are one of the ones prone to addiction is not to start. If you’ve already tried drugs or alcohol, there is hope, please, stop as soon as you can with the help of those that love you.

Todays featured image is called “Season Change” by Brooke Shaden