You Have to Be Willing to Compete

I have many special memories of my daughter Lauren. We were fortunate to do lots of things together as a family. We also made it a point to spend time with each of our kids separately. One that holds a very special place in my heart and memory is told in the post “A Day I Won’t Ever Forget”, it was a great day for me and Lauren.

Another thing we did often was to bake French Macron’s, Lala (Lauren) loved them. They are not so easy to make, but we loved them. We always preferred the Martha Stewart Recipe . I was definitely a real event at our home. Often on a Friday night, we would spend hours in the kitchen, making sure everything was just right, part of my job was eating as many as I could. Lauren was always tasked with sifting the sugar and almond meal which was a very tedious task, The kind of stuff that really frustrates me, but Lauren always loved things like that. I suppose because of the focus needed for the task it calmed her anxiety. As her anxiety increased, she would occasionally get overwhelmed and extremely frustrated if they did not come out perfect. Lauren was a perfectionist which may have been one of the things that contributed to her anxiety.  When that happened it often would not end well for either of us. So, we made an agreement together. The goal of our baking was not to get a perfect batch of macaroons, it was just to enjoy being with one another, if they didn’t get feet (an important macron element), or browned a little too much, it was fine. Once we did that, every time we baked together was special. Oh, by the way, I also got the opportunity to do the cleanup. I guess that what Sous Chefs do. I believe those times were special for Lauren too. She always loved being home with us, and it was nice at our baking sessions when she would laugh, which she did often.

I am certain that you are asking: “What does this have to do with recovery?” The answer is a resounding EVERYTHING.

One of the ways that drugs impact our brain is to flood it with dopamine, the feel-good chemical that is a part of the unique system God created within us to help respond to pain, reward us and build connection.

Here is a quick overview of some of the components of this complicated system:

Dopamine. Also known as the “feel-good” hormone, dopamine is a hormone and neurotransmitter that’s an important part of your brain’s reward system. Dopamine is associated with pleasurable sensations, along with learning, memory, motor system function, and more.

Serotonin. This hormone (and neurotransmitter) helps regulate your mood as well as your sleep, appetite, digestion, learning ability, and memory.

Oxytocin. Often called the “love hormone,” oxytocin is essential for childbirth, breastfeeding, and strong parent-child bonding. This hormone can also help promote trust, empathy, and bonding in relationships and oxytocin levels generally increase with physical affection like kissing, cuddling, and sex.

Endorphins. Endorphins are your body’s natural pain reliever, which your body produces in response to stress or discomfort. Endorphin levels also tend to increase when you engage in reward-producing activities, such as eating, working out, or having sex.

Prolonged drug use literally floods the brain with these natural chemicals. Under normal situations, the brain with the help of these chemicals helps us enjoy life through many everyday experiences. Over time this incredible surge of chemical floods our neurotransmitters with these chemicals. This, in turn, hijacks the brain of its ability to supply us with these important balances and experiences in life, only the drug can do it. There are two great videos produced by National Geographic that explains this in an easily understood visual way. They are “Your Brain on Drugs” and “What Happens to Your Brain on Opioids”. We have mentioned them before but they are well worth the 4 minutes each to watch them.

There is good news though in another aspect of the wonder that is our brain. It is called the elasticity of our brain. In a nutshell, just like an elastic, our brains can snap back. A more technical description is this:  Elasticity of the brain is the ability to stretch beyond your core strengths when necessary and quickly rebound back to your core skills and discipline is a desirable trait. Elasticity is essentially responsiveness to change in an ever-changing world. In fact, our brains do this very well.

You may be asking, “What on earth does this have to do with me, and my addicted loved one?” The answer is a lot. Part of what we can do with our loved ones is to help them rediscover or discover the experiences in and of life that will compete (and can win) with the “benefit” the substance or action of choice gives them. To understand this more read last weeks post “A New Perspective on an Old Problem”

Below is an image of Lauren form the last Christmas she was with us.

It was a good Christmas for her and I am very grateful we got to enjoy it with her. A few months after the image was taken I sat with Lauren as she shared with a young gal that worked in a detox, Lauren really connected with her, that the Christmas of 2016 was the first Christmas in many years that she had enjoyed without drugs. The competition was on, and love was winning. That is the power of elasticity in the brain. Research has shown that the change can take as much as three years but it can and does happen. More important than that is that when our loved ones in addiction begin to have these experiences it is a huge win for all of us.

With the holidays coming it may be a great opportunity for us to help our loved ones as they fight win the battle over addiction.

This weeks featured image is by Brooke Shaden entitled “House of Solitude”