Collision

At the end of today’s post I list several books on addiction and mental health. Some of these books have titles that speak deeply into what drives addiction and what it feels like.

One of the most meaningful concepts emerging about the challenge to overcome addiction or mental health issues is the idea of connection. By that, I mean life in community. I am a faith person, and as such, I realize that community is a pillar on which faith exists. In fact, God desires us to live in community not isolation. Not in some weird commune but understanding that we do life better together. A book that speaks a great deal about this is called “Connections” by Johann Hari.

One book I have found to be very descriptive of addiction even in its title is called “Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave” by Edward T. Welch. What an insightful and descriptive picture of addiction. It lends us understanding of what that person we love so much is going through. The first thing we can see is that addiction, or more precisely the substance or behavior we cling to offers empty promises. Think of a grave, it is cold, dark, and decaying. There is no life there. Addiction never starts in the grave. Addiction meets a need, If it did not, we would never keep doing whatever it is we do, but it quickly morphs into destruction.  This downward slide starts slowly and then hits hyper speed in every area of a persons life. My values begin to shift. Soon I end up doing things I thought I could never do. My health begins to decay. To watch someone going through heroin detox without medical assistance is heartbreaking, but it does not end there, soon the impact of the drug and the loads of other crap dealers put in the mix ravages our body. Severe constipation, leg tremors, shakes, infection, and on and on. The addict gets stuck in the cycle of doing the drug to try to “feel” normal, without ever getting there. The title starts with a word that is extremely insightful, A Banquet. The word Banquet means 1: a sumptuous feast, especially: an elaborate and often ceremonious meal for numerous people often in honor of a person 2: a meal held in recognition of some occasion or achievement. The truth is that full-blown addiction in someone’s life is neither. But the word does imply that some fulfillment or benefit is available. Unfortunately, a grave just will not deliver on the promise.

Another book with a highly informative name is by Gabor Mate, it is entitled “In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts”. This is a very raw book that is eye-opening about the lives of the severely addicted. It grew out of two decades of Mate’s work at a place called the “Portland Hotel” in Oregon. It reminds us that the place to start helping those held prisoners to substances or behavior is with thorough and compassionate understanding as the first key to healing and wellness. The title again implies a need for something, a need for more, that often is never found. Ghosts are empty, lifeless, hallow. Always that is where the addicted individual ends up – empty.

A while back I learned a definition that is extremely insightful of addiction and a myriad of other things we sometimes do as human beings. It comes from the work of a Pastor named Kent Dunnington.  In his book “Addiction and Virtue” he presents addiction, not as a disease or a bad choice, but rather habit in the classical sense. The underlying premise and point of the book are that severe addiction is a dysfunctional form of worship. Dunnington argues that addiction provides an ordering principle for life. He presents a powerful story of a friend, an EMT, who while picking up an addict on the verge of death, said that when he entered the room the person was in he became overwhelmed with a clear sense that he was seeing a picture of what true worship, although misguided, looked like.

In one of his lectures called “Addiction the Perilous Gift” he describes addiction this way; “Addiction happens when a specific need collides with a certain experience.” WOW, that is powerful, there is a need being met, a deep need, that, as strange as it sounds, gives meaning and value to life. It often starts masked as a benefit, by that I mean it seemed to help. For Lauren as she stumbled into heroin use it was a way to escape the onslaught of anxiety, sadly, in only a few months she realized she was addicted to heroin. I wish she had told us! If you would like to see Kent Dunnington’s talk click here: Part 1   Part 2  .

How do we combat this? Deep connection, we need to help our loved one re-educate their mind to the truth that life, separate from substances or damaging behavior, can be rewarding and fulfilling. In another book called Chasing the Scream  Hari closes with a story of a friend battling addiction saying this: “Now I could see why. He coped with his childhood by cutting himself off. He obsessively connected with his chemicals because he couldn’t connect with another human being for long. So when I threatened to cut him off—when I threatened to end one of the few connections that worked, for him and me—I was threatening to deepen his addiction” He goes on to say “I didn’t threaten to sever the connection: I promised to deepen it.” Then he closes with two powerful revelations, “The opposite of addiction isn’t sobriety. It’s connection.” and – “If you are alone, you cannot escape addiction. If you are loved, you have a chance.”

Don’t let those you love be alone!

This weeks featured image is by Brooke Shaden, I do not know the title.

Several Books that will expand your thinking about addiction:

Addiction and Virtue: Beyond the Models of Disease and Choice – Kent Dunnington

Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave – Edward T. Welch

Beautiful Boy: A Fathers Journey Through His Sons Addiction – David Sheff

Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change – Jeffrey Foote

Chasing the Scream: The First and Last Days of the War on Drugs – Johann Hari

Clean: Overcoming Addiction and Ending Americas Greatest Tragedy – David Sheff

Darkness Is My Only Companion: A Christian Response to Mental Illness – Kathryn Greene-McCreight

Get Your Loved One Sober: Alternatives to Nagging, Pleading, and Threatening – Robert Meyer

Highjacked Brains: The Experience and Science of Chronic Addiction – Henrietta Robin Barnes

In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction – Gabor Mate

Inside Rehab: The Surprising Truth About Addiction Treatment and How to Get Help That Works – Anne Fletcher

Instant Influence: How to Get Anyone to Anything Fast – Michael Pantelon

Lost Connections – Johann Hari

Safety in Numbers: From 56 to 221 Pounds, My Battle With Eating Disorders – Brittany Burgunder

The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves – Curt Thompson

Suffering and the Heart of God: How Trauma Destroys and Christ Restores – Diane Langburg

Terry: My Daughters Life and Death Struggle with Alcoholism – George McGovern

Troubled Minds: Mental Illness and the Churches Mission – Amy Simpson

Unbroken Brain: The Revolutionary New Way of Understanding Addiction – Maia Szalavitz