Sliding

I remember when I was a small child in the 60’s a toy was introduced called “Slip’ n Slide”. You can see by the image to the right that it was a lot of fun. I loved it, when we

got it everyone took a try, the neighborhood kids, my dad, even my mom, siblings too. It really did feel like you were sliding a mile, but, you weren’t. There was an end, it may have felt like a mile, but it was only 25 ft. of laughing, falling, sliding, and freedom. At least that is what it felt like to me.

Years later, thanks to some friends in math class, I took up the sport of alpine skiing. Well, I am not sure I would call it skiing, I would say “I focused on getting down the hill in one piece”, and I wasn’t that bad at it. Years later I got back into skiing because Lauren liked to snowboard. We would go every chance we could which right now was never enough. To the left is an image of me and Lala on one of our last ski days together. It was a really fun day, I cherish these memories.

I vividly remember there were many times, often on slopes that were beyond my skill

level where I again felt the joy, for a brief moment of sliding. I say for a moment because in many of these cases, unlike the “Slip‘n Slide” it felt like there was no end, at that point it got scary and sometimes dangerous.

That is so descriptive of addiction and where it can take us, or our loved one, in a free-fall slide that has no end.

I have recently been reminded through some families I work with and some I know that the struggle to love someone in addiction can be a very painful and a long process. I know folks that have been battling the fall-out of addiction for many years in trying to help their loved one. By that I do not mean their loved one is actively in their addiction, but they are trying to get through the years of consequences their addiction may have caused them, it’s a long slide. In others I have been painfully reminded that drugs, and the toxic mixes all illegal drugs have today can be devastating on the body. In one case I know of an individual overdosed and has experienced devastating physical damage that will change their whole life, permanently. Someone that loves them deeply, said this “They do not want help and I have to accept that there is nothing I can do except love them”.

Some might say that is giving up, others would disagree. There are some aspects of addiction that parallel chronic disease. I wish I knew the reasons; I wish I had the answer to “fix” it every time, but the reality is it doesn’t get “fixed” every time. There is a place, I am sure there are others, called the Portland hotel in Vancouver BC. They exist to “love” the extremely marginalized individuals who can not escape the endless slide of addiction, or at least believe they can’t. I get it, I hear many of you now, I agree, they are wrong, help and change is possible, but they must “find” the motivation to do that. We can help but we cannot make them. A book that may be hugely helpful in navigating this is called “Instant Influence” by Doctor Michael Pantalon.

The slide is fun until you figure out there is no end in sight!

The family I mention is headed for long term complications in the life of their loved one. The chances are high that their loved one is not going to stop using drugs, I pray they do. How long that will go on, I can not say, but I do know their statement has the best advice they can take. “I can love them”. I know that if we were talking about one of the many chronic diseases 6 out of 10 adults in the U.S. have and the situation had reached the inevitable outcome of death, a person would be sure to enjoy every moment with them they could.

Should addiction be any different? I do not know but in a short expose on CNN called “What two current heroin addicts want you to know” a man named Johnny says an extremely powerful thing that may help us “”There’s always that one person that always has hope in you, and when that last person gives up on you,” he says, before trailing off. “I don’t think that person realizes how that little bit of hope they had for you helps keep you alive.”” I caution you the above article is graphic and painful.

I I do know this, that if I choose to love that person, in spite of their flaws and brokenness, that could be the catalyst of helping them find their self-motivation. It may also help them feel human!

This weeks featured image is called “Fringe” by Brooke Shaden