The Rock That Threatens to Crush You

What is the rock hanging over your head that threatens to crush you? I think if most of us are honest we all can name one rock, maybe many.

This is especially relevant in the life of someone fighting an addiction. Not merely regarding the risk factor of using drugs of any kind in an atmosphere where fentanyl and carfentanil are put in everything, including marijuana. That is a very big risk. Illegal drug users literally take their life in their hands when they use drugs. Sadly a 15-year-old teen and their family learned this when the young person smoked a joint laced with fentanyl and died.

Today I am speaking even beyond these kinds of risks. I am talking about mistakes in judgment or decisions that lead to places we never imagined we would go.

For my beautiful girl Lauren (LaLa) the thing that crushed her was the guilt and shame of ending up addicted. Lauren once wrote “Doing drugs is a choice but no one ever chooses to be addicted” it is true. There are many factors that contribute to addiction.

I think LaLa’s biggest mistake in trying to overcome her addiction was allowing the guilt and shame to hindered her from telling us. That was the rock that crushed.

She had hope that she could win the battle by herself. Eyes Filled With Hope explains that aspect of her story. I understand why she felt this crushing guilt and shame. I saw it in her the last night of her life. It was the same reason we all feel guilt and shame. Letting people, we love down. Embarrassment over not being good enough, or perfect enough or flawed. Not being able to face that my actions are hurting people I love. And, I suppose the gnawing question of “Why can’t I stop?” A question people struggling with addiction ask all the time.

That was the rock that loomed over Laurens life and eventually, sadly, crushed her. Not the heroin, not the fentanyl and carfentanil, the guilt and shame that left her isolated and alone.

Something I always remind people fighting addiction is that we are able, all of us, to overcome addiction, but we will not be able to overcome it alone. Whatever the rock is that threatens to crush you, the truth is that with the help and support of people that care and love you can move out from under it. Let them in!

The image used for this week’s featured image is called “The Weight of the World” by Brooke Shaden. Writing about it on her Instagram account Brooke says this:

“The weight we carry is invisible. It is only known to others if we make it so. And in a world where we are taught not to complain or to make known our suffering, it can feel like a chain around our necks, pulling us down until our knees buckle. Too many people are on the ground being stepped on, the weight too great to lift, the pain too loud to shout over it.”

Good advice whether we are fighting an addiction or loving someone that is.

This weeks featured image is by Brooke Shaden, it is called “Weight of the World”