Feeble Hints for Fellow Strugglers

There is an old story of a man who got married and often spoke on the topic “How to Raise Children”. The only problem was he and his wife had no children at the time. After having a few children the speaker reworked his talk and gave it a new name: “Some Suggestions on How to Raise Children”. After struggling through years of parenting and seeing his children now full-grown, he once again changed the content and title of his talk to: “Feeble Hints to Fellow Strugglers.”

Anyone who reads this blog, that loves someone fighting addiction or navigating a chronic mental health issue should understand, these are “Feeble Hints to Fellow Strugglers”. That’s just how addiction, mental health and recovery work.

Why the struggle?

Loving someone in the middle of addiction or a mental health issue is not easy and often painful. Truthfully, there are no one size fits all solutions.

A friend of mine wrote this on his wall recently, “If you don’t think staying clean is a hell of an accomplishment, then I am extremely grateful on your behalf that you have not had to endure it. 

I see the rest of yall kickin ass tho.  💪”

Why is recovery a struggle? Because it is really hard work, but the work is well worth the prize . . . LIFE!

Why the pain?

Gabor Mate, well-known addiction specialist that has very interesting perspectives on approaches to recovery says this: “All addiction starts and ends in pain.”

He is right, addiction starts in pain, for lots of different reasons, and for the ones around those of us who are fighting addiction it can produce lots of pain. Recovery has an impact on all around us, more so when mental health issues are a part of the story

Where is the hope?

Right now the recovery and mental health world are in challenging times. COVID 19 has put lots of pressure on people increasing anxiety, depression, and addiction (evidenced by an increase in overdoes especially opioids). At the same time, there are far fewer beds available for treatment and detox. People are forced to sit on waiting lists for spots to open up.

So where is the hope? The hope is in what my friend said, “Keep doing the hard work.” Keep learning the ways that move you forward (not back) in recovery. Keep receiving the support of those around you that want to help. Keep looking to what you want to be not where you are now. Man, that sounds like work, your right!

For further ideas from some fellow strugglers on  how you can help someone fighting an addiction look at these:

• A Strategy for Staying Healthy | We Chose Love
• Illumination | We Chose Love
• Keys to Helping Your Loved One Toward Recovery

This weeks featured image is but Brooke Shaden; “Sleepwalker” 2009