Help Your Loved One Navigate Their World

From time to time I have a chance to photograph portraits for a variety of schools. The children can range from pre-school age all the way to seniors in High School. What I particularly love about photographing the younger kids is their innocence. They are who they are. No filters no agendas they are transparent and vulnerable. What shocks me, and, I guess saddens me is how quickly that innocence disappears. We all slip into a pattern of behavior, pretty fast, that informs us that it might be to our benefit to wear masks and not really be who we are. It’s a defense mechanism that shows up in probably all of our relationships at one level or another.

WE ARE NOT ALL THE SAME

A few weeks ago, I photographed group pictures of very young children. They were precious, the expressions were priceless. As I looked at one particular group that had two children who seemed melancholy, that was who they are, and, they should be who they are.

As I mentioned last week our family just celebrated a very special and happy event. You can read about it in “The Journey Always Moves Forward”. My son’s wedding, being in a place that had many wonderful memories of Evan, Lauren, my wife, and me, and seeing those children made me think a lot about LaLa.

Gabor Matte has said, “A lot of children have a greater sensitivity to the world around them than others.”  It’s true, it is true of Lauren. She seemed to have a heightened impact from the world around her. It isn’t wrong, or a sign of weakness, it was simply who she was. Honestly, it is a part of made so many other young girls who she reached out to always try to make them feel welcome and wanted.

A QUESTION WE ALWAYS ASK

A question you ask a lot when someone you love is fighting to overcome addiction or live with a mental health issue, is “Why?” Sadly, if you lose them far too soon you ask the question why a lot more.

I do not know why my daughter seemed to be more sensitive to the world around her than others. What I do know is I wish I had been more sensitive to the importance of teaching her how to navigate the world she lived in more effectively so she never fell into using a substance in a failed attempt to deal with the pain, hurt, trauma, and disappointment that life causes all of us.

ONE WAY WE CAN HELP

I can be responsible for what I did not know or understand, but I want you to know this matters in recovery and in life.

With all of the emotions, I have felt in the last two weeks of great joy and great sadness this week’s featured image by Brooke Shaden instantly resonated with me and I knew I would use it for this week’s post. It so powerfully illustrates how losing someone you love deeply impacts your life and world. It feels like there is a black hole that seems to follow you everywhere, even, maybe especially, when you sleep.

Don’t get me wrong, I know we have to move forward, LaLa would want it that way. The memories that brought great sadness to my heart were able to do that because they were so sweet. The comfort of knowing that Lauren is no longer hurting and we will be with her again is immeasurable. Understand why here. I know that and remind myself of these things often. Yet, for now, a piece of us is in another world, and we feel the void.

Do everything thing, every time you can to help your loved learn to navigate this broken world as who they are, don’t give up. It’s an important part of their recovery.

This weeks featured image is by Brooke Shaden, it is called “Little Deaths” she created it to demonstrate the joy and loss she feels in opening her life to foster children.