A Lot of Life Happens in Unusual Places
January 21, 2022
The other day a seemingly unusual thing caught my attention and imagination, of all things, it was a stairway. Not just any stairway but the stairway that is in the center of our house. The stairway that is the access to the place we live and the place we sleep. As I thought of it, I realized that stairway has probably seen more of our lives as we journey up and down, up and down, up and down throughout any given day than most rooms.
SWEET AND PAINFUL MEMORIES IN SURPRISING PLACES
On that stairway is the place a cherished video clip archives one of the most fulfilling moments of my life. It was the first Christmas our family celebrated in our current home. My kids anxiously descended to see the gifts “Santa” had brought while my son announced to Lauren, “Lauren look Santa has the same wrapping paper as we do.” In that moment and every time I watch the video I am overwhelmed with every feeling that is the glorious parts of parenting and joy consumes me.
On that stairway was one of the most painful moments of my life as I physically constrained my daughter to make her come down to the living room and clean up the mess from the salad she had hurled across the room. The previous night on that same stairway my heart filled with joy as my wife, son and Lauren walked up laughing. “Running Out of Steam” talks more about those two nights.
STRANGE THINGS TO HOLD ON TO
On that stairway was a hole in the wall, a strangely comforting reminder of the worst day of my life. Put there as I punched the wall while running up the stairs with the desperate hope that my daughter would be breathing. She was not.
A few times my wife asked me if I wanted to fix the hole, I just couldn’t. Today, after four years it is no longer there, but the hole still exists in my heart.
The stairway came to the forefront of my mind because I had been noticing that all around our home are images and mementos that reveal the life that we: Nereida, Evan, Lauren, and myself enjoyed. They sometimes are cathartic, and sometimes saddening, but I realized a lot of life happened on that stairway.
LET YOUR STAIRWAY BRING YOU UP
Research tells us that it is harder to walk up the stairs than down. In many ways I feel walking upstairs leads to new hope. Well most of the time anyway. I think walking down the stairs brought a lot of hope and excitement to Lauren and Evan on the Christmas morning I mentioned above.
Regarding addiction, moving toward recovery is like walking up the stairs. It takes effort and work. Having been addicted myself I could also argue that continuing in addiction is not easy. It requires a lot of focus and a lot of work, so some of us need to ask the question, “Is walking in addiction harder than what it would take to live in recovery?” Maybe it is, and if it is, I should understand that the climb is about overcoming the fear of living differently. It is possible! Especially if someone stands with you.
Every time I walk up and down those stairs, I am reminded of what it feels like living in the shadow of losing someone who is nothing short of precious to you.
The other day someone who had to navigate their own daughter’s journey through anxiety and anorexia said something that stunned me. He like myself is a person of faith and he mentioned that eventually, we have to figure out “Can I trust God with my daughter?” Today I can!
This weeks featured image is from an artist named Victoria Söderström, she created this image at a Brooke Shaden Workshop. It is called “Time’s Up”
This is absolutely beautiful. And that picture……it put me in sad & happy places. It will help me to look very differently at my surroundings. I also see sad places turn into happy places. This really touched me. Thank you & God bless.