Something we often forget.

Addiction and mental health are no respecters of age, wealth, skin color or geography, they will impact and influence any of us at any time. Love is the same, only its impact is highly positive!

This week I was vividly reminded of this through the lives of two iconic figures.

I am always awed when I see individuals who have reached the highest levels of skill in their field. I remember watching an ER episode where this was overwhelmingly obvious. For those that do not know ER was a long running TV series that hosted some very talented individuals. George Clooney and Sally Fields were probably the most famous, but the cast was like a who’s who of great actors.

On November 11, 2004 in Episode 6 of Season 11,  the title is “Time of Death” featured Ray Liotta as Charlie Metcalf. A man who experienced lots of pain in life. Some beyond his control, more tied to his severe alcoholism. Charlie drank himself to death. In the process he lost everything that was dear to him. Liotta was the main character for the entire episode and his talent as an actor was mind blowing. The whole cast of ER was talented but at Ray’s level he, clearly stood out. The episode is worth watching, bring tissues.

Two other iconic superstars

I happened to see an image of another extremely talented actor. I first encountered him in Mission Impossible 3. It was in the scene when Tom Cruise was about to throw his character, Owen Davian, off a plane. Davian’s activities prompted the IMF to dispatch field agent Lindsey Farris to spy on him. Unfortunately, Farris ends up being exposed and captured by Davian’s men, after which she is held for three days in a German factory. The men implanted a micro-explosive bomb inside her head. Farris is rescued by Ethan Hunt and his team, but Davian triggers the bomb remotely, detonating it before Ethan can disarm it, instantly killing her. Later, Ethan and his team kidnap Davian himself, and end up on a transport plane. Ethan threatens to kill Davian to which his bone chilling response is:

“You have a wife, a girlfriend? Because you know what I’m gonna do next? I’m gonna find her, whoever she is, I’m gonna find her and I’m gonna hurt her, and I’m gonna make her bleed and cry and call out your name. And you’re not gonna be able to do shit, you know why? Cause you’re gonna be this close to dead. And then I’m gonna kill you right in front of her.”

I had never noticed Phillip Seymour Hoffman before, but at that moment, I hated him. More specifically I hated his character, Owen Davian. Isn’t that what great actors do, make their character so real that we lose sight of that reality. He did that very well.

Two tragic loses to Mental Health and Addiction

I knew Hoffman died young, but I did not know why. I came across an article that explained that Hoffan had tragically died of extreme mixed drug intoxication on February 2^nd 2014. At the time Hoffman had been drug free for 23 years. He began to struggle with addiction again in his 40’s.

The article about Hoffman says something that is revealing and powerful for us to know if we are addicted, fighting a mental health issue, or love someone that is.

“On February 2, 2014, Philip Seymour Hoffman died of acute mixed drug intoxication in the apartment he was renting in New York’s West Village. This apartment was located two blocks away from the one he shared with his partner Mimi O’Donnell and their three children. The actor had initially taken the apartment to work on memorizing lines without any distractions, but he soon made his second home a refuge for his drug use.”

An obvious red flag

After reading the article about Phillip Seymour Hoffman I watched a documentary called “The Laughter and Tragic Journey of a Comic Legend” about another incredible actor/comedian who’s loss devasted the world. Robin Williams died of suicide the same year as Hoffman on August 11, 2014. Although Robin Williams did suffer with depression and addiction issues throughout his life there was more going on. We later discovered that Robin Williams died from severe complications from Lewy body dementia (LBD). LBD is a brain disorder that can lead to problems with thinking, movement, behavior, and mood. Visual hallucinations, or seeing things that are not there, are a common symptom, and tend to happen early on.

In both sad stories isolation was present. Isolation is one of the earliest signs of an addiction or mental health issue in our loved one. It’s a warning whether we are the impacted individual or a person that loves them.

Lauren isolated often. It wasn’t her fault it is just the natural response to all that is inside of us when we are fighting addiction and mental health issues. The post “Happy Days” talks about how Lauren began to move away from isolating, and how we, as caring loved ones, can help.

A great opportunity

Work hard at noticing when you or your loved one is isolating and try your best to connect. Christmas can create a wonderful opportunity to do that. This post about one of LaLa’s last Christmases with us explains how, “Please Don’t Miss This”.

I know its not easy, sometimes the affected individual resists and wants to stay isolated. Please keep trying, it has great potential to help

The thing we can’t forget

One of the closing statements in the documentary of Robin Williams life and death is important to never forget.

“The tragic details of Robin Williams life inspires us to look past the mask of those who seem to have a perfect life. They bring to light our blindness to depression and offers us an ever timely reminder that everybody needs support and understanding.”

Why, because addiction and mental health do not care what color skin you have, how famous or rich you are, where you live or who you know. They bring pain and sorrow. The same is true of love it does not care who you are. The difference is love ALWAYS brings life!