Safe Landing
January 11, 2019
Most people that know me well know that I love anything that flies: kites, drones and especially planes. The other day I happened to see a video of a pilot landing a twin-engine Cessna – an incredible aircraft – that had its landing gear stuck in the up position. This is not what you want in a landing scenario. Often it means an incredible amount of damage to the aircraft, and possibly serious injury to the people on-board. You can view the video on Facebook here. It is nothing short of a miraculous landing.
When I saw this video clip it reminded me of a quote I heard many years back: “Life is not about what happens to you but instead about how you respond to it.” That quote is the epitome of what Victor Frankl reveals in his Book Mans Search for Meaning.
The pilot of this plane was in an incredibly difficult situation that could have been tragic, but because of the ways he chose to respond by remaining calm, using the resources of his training, experience and the quality of his equipment a safe landing was achieved. To the right is an image of a landing that did not end so well for both plane and passengers.
This illustration is informative relating to an addiction or mental health issue. We know no one chooses a mental health issue, but you can choose how you respond to it. Addictions are extremely complicated, thankfully we are moving beyond the simplistic choice or disease models. Addictions can in fact, be fueled by a mental health issue. Statistics show that over 50% of individuals suffering with an addiction are also battling a mental health disorder. That person may also be impacted by a family history of substance abuse, and while I do not believe anyone chooses to be addicted, there is an element of personal choice in taking the drug. To understand more about how addiction can unfold in somebody’s life look at the video “How my daughter ended up on heroin”.
A Substance Use Disorder or Mental Health issue is equally as serious as a life threatening crisis in an aircraft full of people, but just like this pilot we can respond in a way that produces the best results possible. For some help on how to respond if you have learned that someone you care deeply about is facing an addiction or if you have realized you are addicted, please read these two posts: “My Loved One is Addicted Now What?” and “Brighter Days”.
The last school I had the opportunity to speak at was a school specifically for kids in trouble. The group was only about 20 kids, some of whom were struggling with addiction. The last thing I said to them was “their story did not have to end the way my beautiful girls (my daughter LaLa) did”. I was encouraged that day because one of the young men there thanked me for still having a sense of humor in the middle of such pain. I appreciated that and was grateful it encouraged him.
A while back I heard Rick Warren, the well known American preacher, share in the first sermon series he preached after losing his son to a lifelong mental health struggle called “How to Get Through What You’re Going Through”, say
“When facing a great loss in your life you have three choices: You can let it destroy you. – You can let it define you. – You can let it develop you.”
My son, my wife, and I are working as hard as we can to allow this great tragedy in our lives to develop us.
What I said to that group of students is true for you. Our story, Lauren story’s does not have to be yours.
I wish Lauren had made the decision to not use, even one more day, maybe that would have been enough. I don’t know what went through her mind that last day of her life, but I can honestly say with complete empathy for all she was battling that she did not have to use heroin. Neither do you, you can beat your addiction. You and your family can navigate the crisis of addiction or mental health facing you and win.
There are an abundance of good resources out there to help. Recovery Coaches, Counselors, Psychiatrists, Psychologists, IOP’s (Intense Outpatient Programs), Residential Treatment Centers, Faith Based Programs, 12 step programs, C.R.A.F.T. (Community Reinforcement and Family Training) and more.
Recently I got a very limited inside look at the launch of an extremely innovative program at 2 Trap Falls Rd. Suite 120 Shelton, CT called “The Progressive Institute”. What makes the program unique is that it takes a comprehensive approach to treatment that addresses the five areas we need to focus on for greater success in recovery: Biologically – Medically – Psychologically – Socially – Spiritually, through insightful use of technology, evidence-based treatments, counseling and planning. This philosophy addresses the addiction and gives effective responses to the causes behind addiction. This month’s video will feature some thoughts from The Progressive Institute founder Curt Kuliga. Be on the look out for it in a week or two. You can read more about why these five areas are important to consider in “Somebody Stop This Please.”
One thing that I know can be life saving is to force yourself to be accountable to someone that loves you. I understand this is not easy, because the voices in your head and heart are screaming, “One more time won’t hurt, go ahead use to get you over the hump, a little bit won’t matter.” I cannot help but dream of how different that last day of Laurens life would have been if she had told us that she was struggling with wanting to use. I am sure she was crushed with guilt and shame. Her mind racing because of anxiety, and fighting the enticing lure of craving and habit. If she had told us we would have stayed with her every minute, encouraged her, held her in our arms to comfort her and most importantly let her know how desperately we loved her.
I know it’s hard, I know how strong the physical and psychological pull of a drug that has hijacked your world and your mind for years is, but the truth is you will not die if you go one more day without using heroin (or whichever your drug of choice is), but it is highly possible you will die if you do and that will crush the hearts of those that love you.
You and your family can land safely if you respond in calmness, control, and use all the resources available to you.
This weeks featured image is by Brooke Shaden, its called “Waiting to Fly”.
I love what you and Nereida are doing and how much you are helping others. I know that our heartache will be carried up with us to heaven where we will finally receive our healing. But until then, we shall continue to travel our Journey while we embrace our Lord and our loved one’s memories. Blessings to all.