Fight

Last week I made mention of a truth that is affecting every individual battling addiction. That truth is the belief that “I can’t stop”. That is what I said to my wife, many years ago when she came to me and begged me to stop using cocaine, “I can’t stop”. Every addict who has experienced the slightest feeling of ambivalence has said that over and over and over, even though they “want” to stop!

An interesting thing I see in the ancient Hebrew story of Israel’s entry into the gift/promise God had for them, a home, a new land, really surprises me. They had to fight! They did not just waltz in and take all that God had promised. There were challenges, obstacles, opponents to overcome, and there were things that needed to be learned.

The same is true in overcoming your addiction. YOU MUST FIGHT! By that I mean you must constantly do your part to resist the SCREAM of the temptation.

I hope no one misunderstands this statement. I am intrigued when I see similarities between addiction and what people of faith would call “sin”. PLEASE do not misunderstand me, I am NOT saying “addiction” is a sin, it is not, nor is it a moral issue. I am saying that sin and addiction share many similarities in how they each affect the systems, especially the reward system, of our brain. That is why even people who are genuine and sincere in their faith/love of God, will often struggle with a particular habit or behavior that Paul the Apostle refers to when he says “let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,”. Many people who really love God, are sometimes crushed under the weight of having to say “I can’t stop”.

In his statement Paul hints at what I am speaking about, he hints at the fact that God can and will help us in our effort, and he also begins to reveal our part, “YOU MUST FIGHT! You must make the effort, you must resist, you must do ALL you can to be moving in the right direction not seeking perfection but only progress.

So what does that mean? If I could stop I would stop.

Three ways I can begin to actively fight:

Resist, resist, resist.

One of the things I often do when trying to resist temptation of any kind, call it cravings or triggers if you want, is to tell myself: “I will allow myself to do it tomorrow.” I will wait, maybe it is a day, maybe all I can handle is an hour, but what often happens is that by the time my deadline passes, the pressure is gone, and I win. Can you find enough strength to wait an hour? This action begins to produce what we spoke about last week in the post Re-Wire. What do I do if I still feel the pressure, try another deadline? Yes, but that takes effort, that’s the point.

Embrace Ambivalence

Ambivalence is explained here, and it is very important. It is the constant war within a person fighting addiction that causes them to hate doing the drugs and yet still do them. It is always the “cirrus” clouds of healing and recovery for the person wanting to overcome addiction but for the moment can’t. You can learn more about it in the post mentions above, Ambivalence .

Stay focused on what is going right, even when something goes wrong.

The reality is that we are not perfect as human beings, we are flawed, we make mistakes. Despite the two points mentioned above, the truth is you may lapse or succumb to temptation, I pray not. Whatever the drug you use is lapsing is risky, but far riskier if you use a drug that can be cut with fentanyl and its derivatives, most are. If you lapse, stumble, or make a mistake, own it, but get back on your recovery plan immediately. The deadliest three words we often say are “May as well”. I messed up, I “may as well”  finish the bundle. I messed up I “may as well” start fresh next week. I have been resisting for days now, but it is still a fight. I “may as well” use just one more time.

The other thing we tend to do is beat ourselves up with guilt and shame. What we need to do is own what happened and move forward. Don’t minimize it, don’t make more out of it, and do tell someone that you feel will hold you accountable, in an encouraging and respectful way, what happened. If you do not have a person like that find one. Or, be one for that person you care so much about who is fighting an addiction.

In time, with severe addiction maybe a lot of time (How I Can Help My Loved One will explain that further), you WILL become stronger and you will begin believing YOU CAN STOP. FIGHT!

This weeks featured image is by Brooke Shaden called “Chosen”. It reminds us that when we are fighting the best we can we will ultimately win the war against draw of addiction.