Unexpected

I, as many people, cannot help remembering this day 365 days ago. We were starting a New Year. Some of us had experienced that many, many times. For others it was a first. The thing that strikes me is that none of us suspected that in less than 90 days, our lives would be dramatically impacted by something unexpected, a virus, called COVID 19. This unexpected event has affected pretty much everything in our lives and world. Addiction is no exception, overdoses are up over 80,000 for 2020, more than ever before. The CDC and NAMI released reports in late 2020 that indicate episode’s of people experiencing mental health symptoms has increased dramatically. Especially among those who are in their early teens.

It seemed to come out of nowhere, very unexpectedly!

IF you love someone fighting an addiction or mental health issue, maybe even both, you are all too familiar with the unexpected. If you are the one endeavoring to overcome an addiction or mental health issue you can attest to the same.

Honestly, I never expected my son to walk into my dining room with a fearful and perplexed look on his face and say: “Lauren is asking if we can pick her up at the police station, she has been arrested for a DUI.” I never expected to receive a call on a Sunday morning while at church asking my wife and I to come to the hospital to pick our daughter up. We were told she had passed out in a Dunkin Donuts. As that day and the ensuing weeks unfolded, we would learn that our daughter was fighting a long-term addiction and losing. I never expected to get a call from my wife on a beautiful, blue sky afternoon in July, screaming through tears our daughter was dead. I never expected to be often reminded, she is not here anymore.

When we are struggling with an addiction or mental health issue or loving someone that does, the unexpected is expected.

What we often lose sight of is that there is just as much chance of something unexpected being very positive and beneficial as there is for it to be very negative. I understand that there are many disappointments, mess-ups, and problems to whittle away at our resolve to see growth and progress, but we can not lose sight of the possibility for healing and recovery.

I never expected weeping as I celebrated with my daughter LaLa (my daughter Laurens favorite nickname) the first time in her life she was over 100 lbs. I never expected to receive a Father’s Day card from LaLa that expressed how very grateful she was for a mom, brother, and dad that were supporting her through her recovery, in spite of the ups and downs, when so many around her had no one. I never expected to be facing the biggest battle of my own life, the loss of our daughter, and find in the middle of the daily battle, God’s comfort and strength, knowing she is safe now, and that God will carry us through our darkest days. I never expected to hear how powerfully Lala’s life impacted other girls who were deeply hurting, and still does.

We often overlook the good in people when they are in a season of lots of negatives around them and their lives, as addiction and mental health often bring. I wish I had understood that better in my interactions with Lauren. Because the truth is the good is there, it is just temporarily masked by the chaos and pain, they can’t see it, but we should!

Where are you as we take the first steps in the race to the finish line of 2021? Has the unexpected happened? Did you lapse, when you were doing so well? Have you had, yet another heated argument over the same things you’ve talked about over and over? Do you wonder if you can do this anymore?

Can you try one more time? Can you think of a way to show your loved one that although you do not condone their drug addiction or negative outcomes of their battle with mental health you DO support and love them no matter what as they move toward wellness?

DON’T GIVE UP!

If you have read our family blog before you probably know our family is a faith family and I am a Pastor. This Sunday January 3^rd I am sharing a message called “Do Not Give Up”. With all the complications of COVID19 we now broadcast our Sunday Message at 10:15 AM EDT via  youtube or facebook. I would be honored if you chose to listen and be encouraged this week.

Here are links to many of the stories mentioned above: Laurens DUI   –  How we discovered Lauren was addicted to heroin – How LaLa touched other lives  – Laurens Health Milestone –  The Fathers Day card

This weeks featured image is by Brooke Shaden, title is unknown, although to me it feels like she is reaching for just one more breath.