Don’t Wait Til the Last Minute

WHY DID YOU DO THIS HONEY

As we lay huddled together in our bedroom in the early morning the day after our daughter passed away from an overdose, we were stunned. Somehow, by Gods grace, I found the strength to say to my family, “When we need to cry we must allow ourselves to cry. When we need to be angry we must allow ourselves to be angry, and most importantly, outside of prayer, we have to make sure we keep talking.” We still do this but I have to confess, many times I feel angry. Angry at lots of things, but on occasion, angry at Lauren. Of course I understand how addiction happens. It’s very complicated, I know that, and if you don’t you should. When the emotions seep out of my heart and overwhelm me it comes out in the statement, “Why did you have to do this honey?” By that I mean why did you ever start using heroin. When it happens my entire being is permeated with sadness. Thankfully it flees as quickly as it came when I remind myself there are always lots of factors connected to addiction. “How My Daughter Ended Up On Heroin” explains LaLa’s story.

DAD I AM ADDICTED TO HEROIN

With great sadness, I remember the Sunday my wife, my son, and I found out Lauren was addicted to heroin. As we were wrapping up the church service, I am a Pastor, my wife received a call from a hospital, saying “Your daughter passed out at Dunkin Donuts, she is okay now, but in the ER.” By this point there had been a whole series of events centered around Lauren, none of us knew about her addiction, and honestly, we were worn. None of us realized that the weight over the next twelve months would become unbearable. As soon as we got to the ER all of us began to notice that things did not seem to line up. I remember saying to the attending as I entered the ER, “I want you to know there is a possibility that my daughter has experimented with opioids. It was the look on his face that struck me. It was a look that I would become familiar with over the next few weeks. It was a look of bewilderment, confusion, and in some ways fear.

TELL YOUR DAUGHTER SHE IS VERY FORTUNATE

By the end of that day in the ER we all had learned that Lauren had been addicted to heroin since late in her senior year in High School. We were disheartened, numb, afraid, and mostly empty. Shortly after that my son, Evan, had to get back to college and make some

changes in his living accommodations, so his mom went with him. I stayed behind with LaLa. The week we spent together was important. We talked about a lot of things, but I remember saying to Lauren in a deep heartfelt moment, “Honey I don’t even know who you are

anymore. Honestly, I don’t think she knew who she was anymore and was desperately trying to figure that out. It was also a week of drawing close together and learning. “A Day I Won’t Ever Forget” explains more.  Lauren asked me if I would go with her to get a copy of the Police report. While I was there several Police officers, and EMT’s kept saying the same thing to me. “Tell your daughter she is very fortunate.” What surprised me was that I saw that same look I had seen in the attendings face bewilderment, confusion, and fear. I also saw in the faces of these Police officers and EMT’s a great overflow of compassion and empathy. “These People Are Trying to Help Us” digs deeper into what we can sometimes encounter as things start getting more complicated for our addicted loved one. Now I realize they were hoping this story would not end in the ways they had seen before. At that moment I didn’t know that.

DON’T WAIT FOR THE LAST MINUTE

The point of what I am saying is whether you are a person facing addiction, or someone who loves a person facing addiction, “Don’t wait for the last minute”. Act NOW to get the help you need. Here is a guide for someone that wants to help an addicted individual Guide . For someone fighting addiction here is a link to a site that will show you several treatment options in your area, FindTreatment . Don’t Wait!

Todays featured image is by Brooke Shaden, I call it Last Minute.